i tweet for money…

having a wtf kind of day…

i woke up with a headache and it hasn’t got much better. i’m currently at work, trying my hardest to seem relevant. [yes, i realize that blogging at my desk might not be accomplishing that task, but whatever. i'm on lunch.] i’m feeling very torn about my job right now. on the one hand, i really like it. i like working with the students and talking to the parents and generally feeling like i’m making a different. and i like the fact that i’m home by 4 and have every holiday [and summer] off… with pay. on the other hand, i do not like who i’m working for, person or school district. my principal is extremely underhanded… the type of person who strategically compliments people in order to get them to do what she wants. (“you’re a great addition, ms. g, now can you do xyz? thanks.”) and the school district of philadelphia is a mismanaged nightmare… as one can imagine and expect. i’m glad my contract is only 2 years, but i feel like i won’t be completely happy until i’m doing my own thing. no matter how much i like being a guidance counselor, i’ll never love it because i’m beholden to the whims of others. i need to do things on my own terms in order to be completely satisfied. but until i can afford to do that, i guess i’m stuck. i’ll make the most of it though. it’s a means to an end, whatever that end may be…

muddled.

i have a very clean apartment and a very cluttered mind. i’m quickly realizing that being a school counselor isn’t my lifetime career. i love counseling about school-related stuff, just not in a school. too many politics. too much bullshit.

i want to make stuff. i already have the jewelry “biz” (that word is used in the loosest of terms), and i love that too. but i don’t want to sling beads for the rest of my life… at least, i don’t think i do. i like the element that it brings to my life. the control. the creativity. the working for myself. the working by myself. win or lose, it’s all on me. and i like that. love it, really.

so am i on to the next one? maybe not. definitely not yet. i’m still muddled…

ANNOYED…

footless tights are not leggings.
a knee length dress is appropriate for work.
i refuse to dress like a puritan because my amish boss thinks my clothes aren’t work appropriate. hello, some people wear jeans. i’m being chastised because my tights are purple, rather than the cable knit shit that she would rather us wear.
bullshit. pure and simple.
i will not apologize for having a personality that i express through my clothes. thanks.

…venting. it’s too dang early for this.

an attempt to look busy…

ok so my first week with kids is pretty much over… O.M.G. this year might be bananas. like, for reals. but i like it so far. the kids are starting to figure out who i am and what i do, so i’m getting more traffic in my office. which is a whole lot better than just sitting here labeling folders and doing ‘research’ online. i’m starting to feel less like an intern, which is super good.

i’m also starting to get a sense of the school politics… a school politics where counselors are part of the hated authoritarian government. i’m trying to buck the trend but i think the staff is pretty entrenched in this idea. at least, that’s what i’m telling myself so that i don’t take the fact that half of them ignore my memos and don’t do the paperwork required for me to do my job. and help the kids. which, i guess, some people don’t care about.

ok that’s just me venting a lil bit. it’ll get better. it has to…